Wednesday, April 06, 2005

I'm Not Dead Yet!

Don’t worry, my blog friends, I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. I was suffering from a temporary bout of baby/blogging blues. You know, the kind of blues where you question whether blogging is worth the time invested because probably no one bothers to read your rants, and you find yourself having a small identity crisis because life at home with your baby is altogether TOO TRANQUIL with not enough mentor- and thesis-induced CHAOS with daily intellectual overstimulation as you dissect tiny fly heads in the dark while listening to loud music and the myriad of social and political issues on talk radio, frantically reading and re-reading every paper on fruit fly vision, typing and editing over and over until your thesis is just so while at the same time managing to get into political and theological debates with every co-worker that has free time on their hands.

To summarize, I’m having a hard time adjusting to life at home all day with an infant after spending the last eight years in several research labs. Don’t get me wrong, I love being with Preston all day. It’s fascinating watching him grow and develop. Each day I wonder what new thing he is going to do, whether he’ll trying to wiggle out of his infant seat or say something almost like “mama.” And he’s just so darn CUTE! I wish I could capture all the precious moments on film where he just looks at me, and my heart melts.

But it is rather lonely at home all day with no one to talk to except a 4-month-old baby and two cats. I’m an introvert through and through, but I can talk up a storm around friends and family—just ask my husband. Unfortunately, during tax season my husband’s work heats up so he’s been working long hours. And when he comes home exhausted at night, he’s not ready for his wife to talk his ear off for the rest of the night.

So my pent up oral energy has gone unspent, day after day. I started leaving on the T.V. all day just to have something besides silence permeating the house and to have some sort of adult interaction that didn't involve actual people. I also developed an unhealthy addiction to “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” and although I’ve had lots of thoughts rolling around in my head, I just didn’t have the motivation to form them into any type of essay for my blog. I had lost the will to blog! Pathetic, eh?

So upon further reflection, I think blogging is the perfect activity for someone like me. I get the chance to “talk” through my posting to whoever is reading (or not), and I can correspond and debate with my friends and critics over a myriad of issues. I’ve never been interested in garnering fame and fortune from blogging, and I’d prefer to have a small readership because I really don’t think I could handle all the hate mail that “famous” bloggers attract. Through blogging, I’ve established friendships with several wonderful people that I would have never met otherwise.

So I’ve decided that I need to continue blogging. To better focus my energies on writing and other daily tasks, I’ve started a one-month moratorium on watching T.V. It’s been hard when lunch-time comes around to not flip on the tube and see what nasty demons Buffy is skewering this time (I've been told I have a morbid sense of humor). I also started a regular exercise routine that includes aerobic training and weight-lifting. Exercise is always great for easing mild depression, and it’s a good time to think about topics on which to write.

Anyway, I’m going to continue baby and cat blogging as well as add more science and politics blogging. I think it would be great to start a Carnival of the Babies (or Carnival des Enfants). If anyone is interested in participating, please leave a comment and we can get something started. I know there are tons of cute baby pictures out there that people are just dying to share with the blogosphere.

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