Thursday, December 11, 2003

My first Precision Guided Humor Assignment as a member of the Alliance of Free Blogs

Campaign Slogans

Well, it seems that the Alliance of Free Blogs has lots of assignments. Usually, I'd be too lazy (and supposedly busy with lab work) to do them, but this one has lots of humor potential.

Here's my campaign slogans for the 9 Democratic candidates:

Joe Lieberman Vote for me! Only the jolly Emperor Palpatine can save the Republic!

Howard Dean Vote for me, the irrationally exuberant Grumpy dwarf.

Dick Gephardt I like corn AND NASCAR, vote for me!

John Kerry Vote for me and there will be a ketchup bottle in every kitchen! (Oh, there is already?) Nevermind, I fought in 'Nam!

John Edwards Vote for me because I'm the best-looking of them all.

Al Sharpton There's actually no reason why any of you crackers should vote for me, but I DID host SNL.

Wesley Clark I couldn't lead a herd of monkeys into battle, but I'd make a great President.

Carol Moseley Braun I'm the best candidate you haven't heard of!

Dennis Kucinich Vote for me! Only I can defeat the evil brain-sucking greeyons from the planet Smee!

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